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Chatlog 3

(Please note: some NSFW language below.)

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[Shep] Well, I didn't know his birthday was so soon.
[Miranda] How could you forget something like that? You're essentially his surrogate mother.
[Miranda] And you practically delivered him during his birth.
[Jacob] Well, Miranda, all she did was push a button on the tube.
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] yeah grunt didnt come out of her uterus duh
[AND DROPPED!] Miss Chambers has been sending out emails about it for weeks now.
[Shep] I marked Kelly's emails as spam, so they get deleted automatically.
[Jacob] That's cold, brother.

User K_Chambers has logged out. (reason: sending out resumes)

[Shep] Whoops, forgot she was logged in.
[Miranda] Do you know how hard it was to find "a bangin' redhead?"
[Shep] Did TIM really request "a bangin' redhead?"
[Jacob] Yup. Said it was "for the sake of youumanity."
[Shep] Wow. Anyway, what did you guys get Grunt for his birthday?
[guddamn_zaeed] Ever hear of a place called Pinnacle Station? It's a virtual combat training facility.
[guddamn_zaeed] Me and the boys are gonna take him out there with a keg and spend a week breaking all the high scores.
[Shep] Yeah, good luck with that.
[AND DROPPED!] ;)
[Quarian_Queen] For once, his squad might come back alive.
[*^~Kasumi~^*] I got him the original U.S. Constitution.
[guddamn_zaeed] WHAT
[Jacob] How'd you manage that?
[guddamn_zaeed] you have to find that on cBay or some online auction thing? how much did that set you back?
[*^~Kasumi~^*] Just a few weeks of my time, really. Ended up being more difficult to 'acquire' than I thought.
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] yo anime bitch thats nothin wait til you hear what i got him
[Shep] Another half-empty bottle of vodka, like you got me for my last birthday?
[AND DROPPED!] Ha ha, I remember that. That was hilarious. Never seen Jack get embarassed until that day.
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] stfu that wasnt my fault how was i supposed to know stupid shepard wanted two birthdays
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] i dont even know when my own birthday is you assholes i will destroy you
[Shep] TIM insisted that since he spent so much money on me that I should get two birthdays.

User Behind_Blue_Eyes has logged in.
[Behind_Blue_Eyes] I saw that, Shepard.
[Behind_Blue_Eyes] That was NOT my idea; you just wouldn't shut up about it until I agreed with you.
User Behind_Blue_Eyes has logged out. (reason: drink refill)

[Jacob] ha ha ha ha
[Miranda] A stellar showing as always, Commander.
[Shep] Shut up. And Jack, if you don't just fucking tell us what you got him, I'm coming down there to beat it out of you.
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] I JACKED HIM A SPACE STATION!!!11
[AND DROPPED!] what

User Behind_Blue_Eyes has logged in.

[Behind_Blue_Eyes] That had better not be one of ours.
User Behind_Blue_Eyes has logged out. (reason: brb out of smokes)

[AbUsED_BiOtIc] AND IM GOING TO LET HIM CRASH IT INTO A PLANET
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] !!!!11!!!
[Shep] Are you fucking serious?
[guddamn_zaeed] That's a pretty hardcore gift. 'ey, Garrus, what'd you get the tyke?
[AND DROPPED!] I had Kasumi swipe his favorite shotgun so I could tweak it.
[Jacob] calibrations
[Quarian_Queen] calibrations
[guddamn_zaeed] calibrations
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] calibrations
[Scientist_Salarian] calibrations
[Shep] calibrations
[AND DROPPED!] One of these days...
[Shep] What, you're going to get so mad that you'll shoot us? You'll miss because your gun wasn't fully calibrated!
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] hahahhahaahhhaha
[AND DROPPED!] Anyway, assholes, I increased his shotgun's magazine capacity.
[AND DROPPED!] And made it so it fires all sixty-five shells at once.
[Jacob] DAYUM
[guddamn_zaeed] A guddamn fine gift, that is.
[*^~Kasumi~^*] I put some Hello Kitty stickers on it before I put it back ;-}
[Miranda] Commander, did you find a last-minute gift?
[Shep] I take it you haven't been down to the sub-cargo floor yet, then.
[Shep] I got him...
[Shep] A THRESHER MAW. BOOYA.
[AND DROPPED!] What, like to keep as a pet? What do those things even eat? And isn't their poo acidic?
[Shep] I don't know what he's going to do with it. Not even sure that you CAN domesticate those things.

User Behind_Blue_Eyes has logged in.
[Behind_Blue_Eyes] Calibrations.
User Behind_Blue_Eyes has logged out.
[Shep] lol

User SAMARRA has logged in.
[SAMARRA] GREETINGS SHEPARD
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] i just saw her blue ass in the pisser so i bet i know who this is
[AbUsED_BiOtIc] suck a bag of dicks harby
[Shep] Cain to the face not enough for you? And you spelled her name wrong.
[SAMARRA] I HAVE LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF THE NORMANDY AND REQUIRE YOU TO OPEN AN AIRLOCK SO I CAN GET IN
[Shep] Sure, sure. Gardner, get some popcorn on. EDI, give us a minute to put together a "welcoming party,"
[Shep] send Grunt to sub-cargo, and then open the sub-cargo portside airlock for "SAMARRA."
[SAMARRA] EXCELLENT SHEPARD I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU INSIDE
User SAMARRA has logged out.
[Shep] This is going to be the best birthday ever.


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